Last First Day

So my first day of senior year was definitely interesting. I got a few "I missed you's," a few "how was Paris's" but mostly "WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU AND YOUR BOYFRIEND?!?!'s." That was the most difficult part of my day. The timing for everything was horrible. Or at least that's how I see things now; I'm sure that'll change. I know God's timing is perfect but I honestly don't see why he had to let this happen the day before school started. Most of my binders had pictures of him on them not to mention everything that i had put in my locker last thursday at orientation. I had to find someone else to go to Wicked with me and my parents. I invited my "little sister" at school and she's REALLY excited but I know that this wednesday will only make me think of who I was supposed to be with. I see all these pictures around my room that were supposed to be flipped upside down or in a box and and I can think about is how much I miss him. I know I did the right thing but what the heck am I supposed to do now? He was so much apart of my life that I have no idea where to go or what to do. The only texts I have in my phone is the conversation I've had between us since Saturday. I asked if he still wanted to marry me and he said yes. I think that's the worst part of this whole process. Knowing that he lied. I don't know if he really still loved me to the very end but that he kept telling me he did just makes everything worse. I want to sleep till this is over but I don't want this to be over because then I will have lost him after I have already lost him. It's weird knowing that as much as I want this all to be a dream, it's very real. all I have to do is check facebook and see that he's not there. I so want him to be there...but as the knight in shining armor that he was...not the jerk he was yesterday.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?