The Miracle of Life

I spent all day today with my favorite person in the entire world.
My niece is the sweetest six month old baby I've ever met. She is nothing but smiles and squeals and love and she is such a blessing to me. It was so good to spend so much time with her and Jenn said that she's never seen Ainsley so relaxed with anyone besides her and Shawn before. I'm so in love with those chubby little cheeks and bright blue eyes! She puts me in such a good mood and I just love being around her. We got to feed her twice today and she and I went for a walk. Literally, I could spend every day with her and not be sick of it.

She started to crawl today and then I think got a little weirded out by it and stopped but it'll probably happen sometime this week. Jenn said she's turning into a little toddler, she's getting so active. It's so amazing watching her grow up. God really does know what He's doing and so many times we forget that. Being the youngest, Ainsley is my first experience witnessing the miracle of life and I can't begin to explain what an honor and blessing it's been. I'm thrilled that I get to be in her life, every step of the way, watching and helping and loving.
Seriously, everyone needs this in their life. It's truly humbling and such a "God-thing."

Senioritis

My best friend came to visit me this weekend! :)
We made freaking awesome shirts for the premiere of New Moon in less than a month and did our usual best friend activities. I love her lots :)
Marin is convinced that I "like-like" Will, which I don't, and wants to tell him. Or wants me to tell him. I'm not ready for any of that yet. Thinking about it all makes me feel sick. No one will or can replace Jeremy and that's essentially what the girls at school want me to do. They're tired of me bringing him up and they're all convinced that the best way to get over a guy is to find a new one. I don't want a new one, it's just that Jeremy was my best friend for two years, not to mention he's my go to guy when I have a question about something entirely random. Needless to say, he comes up alot. They're gunna have to get over it.
Work today was so ridiculous. Marcy almost fired JP because he came in late and then proceeded to take it out on all of us. She was in a terrible mood all day and was just horrible, even to her favorite, Danielle. Shelby went on a "day trip" to Monroe and Marcy thinks she's not going to show up to work tomorrow. If she doesn't, Marcy wants to "talk to her" if not fire her...Glad I'm not working tomorrow!
Speaking of which, I get tomorrow off which means I get to hang out with my beautiful niece/goddaughter ALL DAY! I'm so excited! She is the most adorable thing ever!
I can't wait until Christmas break. I'm only one week into this quarter and I'm so ready for it to be over. Senioritis much?

Celebration, Pitty Parties, and Self Control

I got a B in precal! Don't know how I managed it, but I have an 81 on my report card! All I know is that it was totally God and not me. I know I couldn't have done that on my own...
Also, Best Friend is coming home on Friday to make t shirts for the New Moon midnight premier!! Get excited! I want to reread the book but since New Moon is the most sad of the four and considering what happened two months ago, it may not be the best idea. Hysterics probably wouldn't be convenient.
There's not much else to report except that I can't tell you enough how amazing paramore's cd is.
Also, William is slowly being erased from my list. It was never a list but that's the only metaphor I could think of while running on this much sleep. (long night studying for apgov test) It's not that I like him it's that I could like him but I know that it wouldn't be fair to either of us for me to be that way and I think for the first time in almost 18 years now I'm beginning to control myself. Hopefully. No more falling blindly. Look how that turned out.
I miss having someone to talk to that wanted to talk to me back. That part was nice. And having someone to take care of too.
Ok. I need to stop.
The End.
Also, Ainsley is six months old today!!!

Make it stop

This weekend has been pretty crappy even though I had Friday off.
Actually, Friday was my only decent day. I got to sleep in, spend the day with my niece, and goof off until work. And then I came home and watched a Pride and Prejudice twice in a row on Oxygen and sent quotes via text to Katie. Wow, I have no life.
Saturday was where things went wrong.
First of all, Marcy asked me to come in an hour early. I normally don't mind coming in early but an hour just to restock a hand full of items and windex the counters. So I didn't have much to do the majority of that hour. Then I worked for eight more hours while the store was actually open. By closing time, I was absolutely exhausted. Not to mention the drama with my friends. And yes, I can say friends now. It was a very overwhelming day. When I got home, I tried for two hours to turn our front tv on because I knew that the second my parents got home, they'd kick me out of their room. It never did turn on. We have to call a repair guy this week. I hope my parents know I'll be watching House in their room tomorrow, no matter what. So anyway, out of shear frustration and confusion I spent most of those two hours crying on the couch. It was pathetic. But then Will called and we talked for a bit and he made life better. Then he went and got into a car wreck and the Shiny Silver Volvo might be totaled. That's too bad. I liked knowing a shiny silver Volvo owner. It made me feel like Bella Swan. Will's ok though which is what matters.
So as you can imagine, I was exhausted all day today. I even showed up late to work, I was so groggy when I woke up, I didn't even pay attention to the time most of the morning. But when I got home, there was Ainsley. I am so in love with my baby niece! She is the cutest thing in the entire world and I know I say that every time I mention her but she really is! She's starting to crawl! AND we can put clips in her hair now! It's the most amazing thing to make her laugh or smile.
I've been asked out for the fourth time by the same guy. I don't think he understands that I'm not dating for a year even though I've said it several times. If he asks again, I swear I'll throw up. I hate saying no but I honestly don't want to go out with him.
HELP ME

It's been too long...

It's been a long time, I know. School is crazy, as it is every year. I don't think teachers realize that we have other classes besides theirs. And on top of other classes we have lives and college crap to deal with. But I have time to write now so I think I will :)
I'm good, thanks for asking! Well, my allergies are killing me again this year but I've managed to keep breathing which is a complete upgrade from last year. My voice has been going in and out though which might be a sign that my vocal cords are deciding to hate me again. we'll see...
Homecoming is this week and I'm crazy excited! I have the most beautiful dress and I asked Christian so I know I'll have fun! We're going with Joey and Shealynn and hopefully a whole bunch of other people so that'll be great :) I just don't want to eat at iHop which is where Joey wants to go. I'm going with Chili's I think! This week will be amazing. The only bad thing is that I have a pre cal test Wednesday but other than that, I'm livin it up!
I've spent so much more time hanging out with friends than I have since junior high. It feels nice to be able to spend time with people besides my parents and family.
Speaking of which, Ainsley is the most adorable thing ever made! She grows more and more every time I see her and she's continuously laughing and smiling and giggling. She is such a joy in my life and I'm so glad to have her during this time.
Also, I've officially sent in my application to Southwestern University. It is now out of my hands and into the admissions' people's. and God's of course. I have no doubt that I'll get in and if I don't, it'll be a surprise. My grades and scores are good enough. They just have to like me and I sincerely hope they will. I'm extatic about being a Pirate! and Chase got accepted to Concordia in Austin so I'll have a friend nearby which is a total relief.
As for Jeremy? We aren't talking. About a week ago, we decided it'd be better for both of us not to talk for at least a year. Well, i decided that because he wasn't talking to me so I said maybe when I get up there and he never responded. I hope he's doing well.
I've thought of half a dozen things that I'd like to tell him and it's hard to refrane but knowing that he doesn't care and wouldn't answer me anyways helps to resist texting or messaging him. Honestly, I do feel better without him but it still SUCKS butt being single. I'll get over it though.
If I learn anything this year it's that I don't need a guy to complete me.

New Found Freedom

I've come a long way in just two weeks. And I'm happy I have. I feel free. Like the world is my oyster and I'm not being held down. It'll be a good thing to start college without a boyfriend. I still HATE being single but right now, it's refreshing. Homecoming is in just over a month and I'm not looking forward to that fiasco. Well, I am. It's Senior year after all. But who I'll go with, I don't know. Probably Claire and Marin. Hopefully.
Today should have been our 27 month anniversary. I should be in bed in the fetal position but I've been good. I'm considering that maybe I felt the same way he did but I just didn't know it. For the longest time I was convinced I couldn't live without him but maybe I always knew I could.
God certainly has interesting timing and just as I knew I'd come to find something good in his recent timing, I did. I will not have dated a single day in senior year. Boys are off limits until I find someone who is looking for marriage and who is looking for me. And I refuse to consider anyone who does not pursue me first. (Wise advice via Katheryn M.) I'm going to make this year great. No one will hold me back.
In other news, Gary Bentz has throat cancer and my parents' two week tour of the States may be canceled. We'll see. My parents are pretty shaken up though.
Also, I miss Ainsley like nobody's business! Last time I saw her, she had HAIR! dark, thick, short hair! I can't wait to meet her and get to know her. She's sooooo adorable.
Before I go, I must share with you, my readers, whoever you are, my theme song for the week. It's been in my head since Friday and it fits perfectly to my life right now. Welcome to the world of Thoroughly Modern Millie.

No canary in a tree for me
This canary's ready to fly free

Cut the cord
Is that a man I once adored?
He's nothing but an albatross
No great loss
Doublecrosser
Forget about the boy
Pull the plug
Ain't he the one who pulled the rug
He's lower than an alley cat
Dirty rat
And I flatter
Forget about the boy
Forget about the boy
Forget about the boy

And in the moonlight
Don't you think about him
Sister, you're much better off without him
You can blow the blues a kiss goodbye
And put the sun back in the sky
For when he comes crawlin'
I'm not fallin'

Shout hooray and halleluh!
Now me and mister wrong are through
I'll find myself another beau
Who I know is no rover
Forget about the boy

Forget about the boy

My Dedication to Ainsley

My darling niece, Ainsley, came with us to the beach and is most definitely the cutest thing ever! After having her around nonstop for five days, I miss her tons! She's very quiet and almost never cries and is growing soooo much! She's almost five months now and can not only roll over like crazy but is scooting herself all over the place! We had to pick her up and put her back on her blanket several times because she kept pulling herself forward! She's laughing now and I don't think I've ever heard a laugh so cute. Jenn said that she'll start teething soon and you can tell from the video that she VERY much likes "chewing" on things...I would call it sucking but it really isn't sucking any more. I do feel kind of bad for her though. With Jenn's surprise pregnancy, Ainsley will have to grow up alot faster than she probably should. I don't think she'll get to enjoy being a baby for as long as she should but even with the new baby here I'm sure she'll still be in the spot light because by then she'll be trying to walk and talk and hopfully she'll even have some hair! I'm honored to be her godmother and I really can't wait to see her all grown up and I especially can't wait to meet her and get to know her and learn all about what she likes and her friends and see her grow up. I never thought being an aunt could be so much fun!