It's amazing the conversations that come up at school. You wouldn't believe some of the things these sheltered private school kids come up with. Granted, I'm one of them. But today I sort of stood out of all of it and looked at my friends who were so enthralled in what's being said and noticed for the first time in twelve years how ridiculous we look.
I want to know what will happen to me when I'm not in my private school bubble. I'm certainly not the innocent kid I was a few years ago and I'm most definitely "damaged goods" but the main thing is that I've never had to make new friends...not really. Everyone I know has known me for a long time and they all get me. What am I going to do when I'm surrounded by strangers? Which brings me to my next point. In bible class we're talking about marriage which of course gets me wondering who will I marry? When I was little I always saw myself marrying on of my friends from school, someone I would have known for forever and who would have been part of my childhood. Freshman year, I saw myself marrying someone like Jack, if not Jack. He's a great guy and I couldn't imagine being treated any better...until Jeremy came. And then from that point till two months ago I was convinced he was the one. But now, who's left? I see the boys at my school as brothers. How can I not? I've grown up with all of them. And I will not marry Jack...for many reasons. But that's not to say that he's not a great guy. And clearly, Jeremy's out of the picture. That only leaves someone I'll meet at school...But the thing is, Southwestern may be Methodist but I have a feeling that the majority of the students who go there don't care about faith. I may be wrong but that's just how it seems to me. So how am I supposed to find a good Christian guy who loves Jesus in a very liberal school in a very liberal part of the state? Ugh. I'm too young to be worrying about all this but I can't help that it's in the back of my mind...
I'm sorry for ranting so much. I looked back at some previous posts and realized that I sure do talk alot...Oh well :)
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