There are good days and there are bad days and I've learned I'll always have someone there to listen to my complaints and griefs and exciting news. I don't need a blog to write to the universe what i can share with a friend.

Snow Day

It snowed today! Like, legitimate SNOW :)
School was dismissed at lunch so the only four classes I had to get through were basically blow offs! Every teacher (except Mrs. Reed, of course) let us go play in the snow. Then the seniors went to Cici's for lunch and that was ok, I guess. But then I came home to a white-covered lawn and played for like 2 hours! I had a snow ball fight with my daddy, made a snow angel, and made freddy, my awesome snow man who still currently exists :)
It's not that I haven't seen snow before it just that it's HERE. Houston has some of the most bipolar weather EVER!

Senioritis

Tired of faith west. Tired of high school. Tired of busywork. Tired of projects. Tired of threats. Tired of uniforms. Tired of drama. Tired of costumes. Tired of midterm reviews. Tired of math. Tired of 6 freaking 45 in the morning. Tired of ac in the winter and heater in the summer. Tired of diarrhea-colored paint. Tired of sound systems that don't work. Tired of carpool. Tired of late bells. Tired of student parking lots. Tired of chapel. Tired of announcements. Tired of pledges. Tired of Bible class. Tired of teachers who don't know how to teach. Tired of lunch tables. Tired of crappy bathrooms. Tired of intercoms. Tired of Katy.

Bring on college!!!!

Prayer and Thanksgiving

I have a lot to be thankful for.
Looking over the past week has shown me just that.
I have the most beautiful niece in the entire world. She's lifting herself up and, and just growing up so fast...And four-ish months from now I'll have another niece...

I've spent the last two days working with my best friend in the entire world. I'm sad she has to leave tomorrow but I'm glad to have spent so much time with her.

This week has been such a blessing in so many ways...It's been so nice to have a break for once...

I don't even want to think about school on Monday

Edward Cullen can bite me anytime!

Well, Jeremy's old laptop finally died. The computer didn't die, actually, just the screen. But either way, I can't use it. I feel weird typing this on the family computer...I didn't think I used the laptop so much until it finally went byebye.

New Moon was AMAZING! I've seen it everyday of the opening weekend and I have plans with Jenn to see it tomorrow! As much as I hate that book and don't understand why I willingly subject myself to acute pain, it really is a great movie. Ten billion times better than the first one. And it was great to see Best Friend! Can't wait to see her some more this week!

Jer and I had a conversation over whether or not Edward Cullen was an abusive boyfriend. Of course Jeremy thinks he is and I hold the opposing opinion. He may seem like that but all of his actions are only to keep Bella from harm. And if Bella thought he was abusive, she would have gotten away from him. The thing is, I would want someone like Edward. I want someone who will protect me and who will forever be devoted to me. I don't think that's abuse, I think that's love. But what do I know about love? Clearly, I'm not cut out for it.

I wish people would stop talking about guys I can date. I don't want that. I don't want people trying to set me up and I don't want that attention...or that hope. If I sit here and let people do that, I'll start hoping things that I shouldn't. The only outcome of hope is heartbreak. I can't do that again.

I think seeing New Moon so many times in a row has me in some sort of depressed funk. I need to read/watch something more uplifting. Star Trek maybe?!

damaged goods

Jordan finally has her first boyfriend. They've been dating since homecoming and he's a really sweet guy but she is completely head over heels. Last wednesday at senior girl bible study she was talking about how they met and telling their story and whatnot and she was saying that she knows that she'll marry Phillip. I'm worried because I felt the same way about Jer. There was never a doubt in my mind...Even when I broke up with him I couldn't believe what I was saying. My mom is still convinced I'll marry him. But I know that none of it was ever true. That future is lost to me and I think that's one of the hardest things about losing him. Not only did I lose my best friend but i lost whatever future I had with him as well. I don't want Jordan to be broken like I am. Especially not with her first boyfriend.
That's another thing. I've accepted the fact that I'm damaged goods. I don't know what guy will ever want that but that's what I am. There are pieces of my heart that I've given away that I'll never get back. A small piece to Jack and a huge one to Jeremy. Whatever heart I have left belongs to God. There's nothing left to give away.
I think reading New Moon was NOT a good idea. I knew that reading it so soon would be hard. And it was. I know exactly the pain she goes through. So not only did I basically subject myself to agonizing emotional pain but it's caused me to see my "love life" in such depressing ways.
No matter how much it hurts or how depressing my personal life may seem, at least I have not sunk back into that numb stupor that I had at times. I haven't hurt my parents like that and I haven't been apathetic towards anything.

We sent in the first deposit to SU today. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited

Black, White, and Gold

I got my SU box today with all my new stuff. I officially have a decal on my car and a new tshirt, hoody, and some other cool stuff. :) I'm a pirate! I also got a letter from the SU admissions people saying congrats and that they were impressed by me which I thought was really great of them. I filled out my housing application and decision form and we'll being mailing them in as soon as I get my corrected scholarship letter. I'm really super duper excited about my dorm and who will be my roommate and all that jazz! I can't wait for college!
On another note, I'm dedicating a page in my senior scrapbook to all my underclassman friends. They got their copies of school pictures today so i'm stealing all their wallet sized for my page. I'm really excited about how this scrapbook will turn out...of course i'll need to finish my high school scrapbook before i can start my senior one but I'm getting there. Almost done with sophomore year. ;)
I'm nervous about thanksgiving break for some reason. There's alot happening in that one week. I don't know what I'm anxious about but for some reason I am.
Tomorrow is Friday, one of my favorite days. And for once I don't have to work. I'm trying to get people together for a movie but i'm not very good at that. so far, i have chase and kristina lined up but they'll go only if other cool people they know are going lol...so basically, i think i'll probably end up by myself on my couch tomorrow but at least i tried, right?